A beginning of a relationship is a good test for self-esteem. You still don’t know each other good enough to trust, therefore, every minor gesture on the part of the partner, for example, they did not wish you good night, even though they had done it before, or they did not put like under your new pic on Instagram, is perceived as a signal. If you manage to maintain self-confidence, this will give a good start to your relationship. How to cope with the fear that a relationship with your new partner will not work out?
Use the rule of three
One way to overcome your suspiciousness in communicating with a new partner is to use the rule of three. If a partner does something that upsets you, for example, they do not call you back or disappear for a day without explanation, you should remember that the first such negative case does not necessarily mean anything. A second such act may be a coincidence. For the third time, it already makes sense to talk about what bothers you with the partner. This strategy helps neither make hasty conclusions nor overwhelm the partner with unreasonable reproaches. First, you watch their actions, understand that this is a model of behavior, and not an accident, and only then you talk about it. It is among tips on dating your best friend. Of course, this does not apply to serious red flags: cheating, insults, physical violence, and so on. In these cases, one incident is enough to draw conclusions and leave.
Find a friend in your new partner
If you start treating a new partner as a friend, this will slightly change your expectations and your relationship. Often, we forgive friends for petty and annoying acts and don’t think that friendship has ended because of one conflict. We accept our friends but not partners. Take a little time to find out the good and bad sides of the person you are dating. If you establish a positive spiritual communication first and only then move on to romance, then you will be more confident in them.
Live the present
It’s good to know what you need from a relationship since it helps not waste time on unpromising partners. Nonetheless, if you see only a specific goal ahead, for example, that a partner should introduce you to their friends, offer to live together, or make some other statement about you, then all your attention will be focused only on this. You will not be able to enjoy the moment, realize whether the partner suits you or not, how you feel about them. A self-confident person knows that if the relationship does not work out, it means that they are dating a wrong partner. It makes no sense to evaluate each act at the beginning of a relationship, based solely on whether you will get married in the future.
Remember that your value does not depend on your partner’s attitude towards you
This is a very important rule for your confidence. To love yourself, you do not need someone’s approval. At the beginning of a relationship, people are too obsessed with getting confirmation from a partner that they are worthy and important to them. However, your true value does not depend on whether the new partner admires you or not. Self-love will help avoid co-dependency in the new relationship. Keep reminding yourself how amazing you are. A confident person will not get depressed from the fact that the one they have started dating did not appreciate them or acted badly.
Enjoy your pastime with the partner
A beginning of a relationship should be easy, so try not to focus on self-digging and finding a dirty trick. Now you have a person with whom you can have fun, so use this opportunity. Enjoy communicating with them, take risks, do what you have long dreamed of. The more pleasant moments you experience together, the easier it is for both of you to relax and not worry about the little things.
You have the right to decide whether they suit you
Sometimes people are so obsessed with how to impress a new partner and make them fall in love that they lose sight of the lack of common interests, red flags in their behavior, or other signs that you should not be together. Remember that this is not an exam, and you have the same right to assess a person and decide whether you are a good match. Do not confuse your desire to please and be a suitable partner with your real feelings for the person. If they are interested in you, then they are also worried. You are in equal positions, which means that you should not behave and feel like a participant on casting to a show.
